I’m 30, married to what I thought was the love of my life, and then suddenly, I’m not sure what’s real anymore. It started with the small things—him turning away on the couch, rejecting my advances more often than not since around April. I tried to shrug it off; denial is a powerful thing, after all. I mean, he wouldn’t do that to me, right?
Wrong. It turns out, he’s been having an affair with one of our close friends. Yeah, you heard that right. The kind of friend who’s been to my house, who’s texted me pretending to care, while all the while, she wished she could be the one holding him. I found out in the most 21st-century way possible—a Snapchat conversation left open. There it was, right in front of me, her longing for him, and him mocking my attempts to connect with him.
Confrontation? It happened. His excuse? The stress of quarantine. His feelings? Apparently, I’m just a friend in his heart now. And just like that, my world shattered.
I did what I thought was right—I told her husband. And guess what? Their little affair started way back in February with a kiss. Just a week after we were celebrating Valentine’s Day like a couple deeply in love, uncorking a nice bottle of wine, laughing, and believing in ‘us’.
Now, here I am, stuck in a marriage that barely made it a year, feeling robbed of my trust, my love, my future. He doesn’t even want to try to fix things. Therapy? Off the table for him. And every corner of our home, every little memory, now feels tainted with his betrayal.
The irony? I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever had. He was supposed to be different. He was supposed to be my forever. And yet, here we are.
I’ve started to see a therapist because, honestly, what else do I do? Especially now, being laid off last month has left me with too much time to dissect every lie, every moment I spent fighting for a love that was already gone.
The question that keeps haunting me is, how do I move forward from this? How do I rebuild when it feels like every piece of me has been scattered to the wind?
It’s not just about getting over him or the affair; it’s about understanding my worth again, figuring out how to trust, how to love without fear. It’s about finding a way to wake up each morning without the weight of betrayal dragging me down.
So, to anyone out there who’s been through this, who’s felt this depth of despair and come out the other side—how do you do it? How do you start to put the pieces back together when it feels like you’re permanently broken?
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